The Flying Car
by Tainted Love007
Summary: No Magic. Harry and Ron have an interesting conversation during a chess match. Wait a minute? What's Ron up to? What is he planning? It seems Ron is smarter than everyone thinks. JUST CHECK IT OUT PLEASE?


Just thought of making a little comedy between Harry and Ron. I got this off of Clerks, but I didn't use the full version of it.

Disclaimer: Harry and Clerks are not mines.

The Flying Car 

It was Saturday morning where Ron would come over to Harry's house and play chess. They did this every Saturday. They did the same thing for the passed three years. But that morning in particular was going to be different.

Harry and Ron sat on the floor of Harry's room. Both have eyes fixed on the chess pieces as Harry shakily moves his bishop the right. Out of randomness, Ron started up a questionable conversation.

**Ron:** It's times like this that occurred to me that we were lied to by the Jetsons.

**Harry:** What are you talking about?

**Ron:** According to that show, we were supposed to be tooling around in flying cars by now.

**Harry:** Yeah well, most of us rash thinkers weren't banking on a cartoon to offer us a viable glimpse into the future of technological development.

**Ron:** _(Has an idea)_ Hey! What would you be willing to trade for the flying car?

**Harry:** _(Confused)_ What do you mean?

**Ron:** Say some German scientist comes up to you and says '_I have invented the Flying Car. I'll give it to you on one condition._'

**Harry:** Well what's the condition?

**Ron:** He's not going to tell you.

**Harry:** Then it's no deal.

**Ron:** The guy is offering you the flying car. You know like a gift horse and the mount just take the car, man.

**Harry:** _(Arguing)_ Not until I know what the catch it.

**Ron:** Fine! …. The catch is you go to cut off a foot.

**Harry:** Ffft! No way!

**Ron:** Are you saying you wouldn't cut off a foot for the flying car? You're that selfish?

**Harry:** It's my foot! How am I supposed to walk?

**Ron:** What walk? You'll have the flying car! After that you could buy fifty prosthetic feet!

**Harry: **_(Thinking)_ Which foot? Right or Left?

**Ron:** Your choice.

**Harry:** Okay, I'll trade my left foot for the flying car.

**Ron:** So it's a deal then, your foot for the flying car. You're sure?

**Harry:** Yes, I'm sure.

**Ron:** You can't welsh.

**Harry:** I won't welsh!

**Ron:** Because the whole world is counting on you.

**Harry:** _(Suspicious)_ What the hell kind of scientist is this guy anyway?

**Ron:** One with a lot of free time on his hands… and a foot fetish. So, then what happens is you find out that the guy's going to take off you foot with a hacksaw.

**Harry:** What!

**Ron:** And no anaestetic.

**Harry:** Oh, screw that!

**Ron:** C'mon! It's part of the deal.

**Harry:** You didn't say that before!

**Ron:** C'mon! It only hurts when they're taking the foot off. After that, they'll use a local on your stuff and cauterize the wound.

**Harry:** Why can't I have a local before he cuts it off?

**Ron:** Because! He is a sick degenerate that likes to inflick pain.

**Harry:** You said he was a man of science!

**Ron:** You don't think Einstein liked hacking guys feet off, but nobody ever said anything about it because he was one of the greatest sneakers of our time, but c'mon man! Take the hit for the team! It's a few seconds of pain for a lifetime of riches and zero traffic.

**Harry:** _(Convinced)_ Fine, as long as I get the local as soon as he's done cutting.

**Ron:** So you want the local?

**Harry:** Who am I? The Marki (Sp?) Decide? Yes, I want the local!

…

**Ron:** All right.

**Harry:** Why'd you say it like that for?

**Ron:** Ehhh, It's just the local he gives you that knocks you out. And when you're rowdy, diddles your penie.

**Harry:** Oh, c'mon!

**Ron:** Hey man, you made the deal.

**Harry:** To trade my foot for the flying car not to be tortured and molested by some mad German scientist!!!—

**Ron:** And his friends.

**Harry:** What!?

**Ron:** Just when he's done with you, he gives his friends a shot at you too.

**Harry: **Deal's off!!!

**Ron:** What are you, some kind of homophobe?

**Harry:** _(Annoyed)_ Nooo. I just don't want to be diddled by some insane German scientist and his friends after they hack my foot off.

**Ron:** Need I remind you this is for the flying car?

**Harry:** It ain't worth it!

**Ron:** _(Frowned)_ See? You're what's wrong with this country! Hell with this world! You're always thinking about your own comfort level, never thinking about the rest of us. And you'll forever be remembered as the sad footnote in the book of life! The wimpy little scumbag who could of breached the chasm of becoming and being, but instead opted to cover his own ass… and foot… in the process.

**Harry:** ALL RIGHT!!! I'll go… through… with the deal. I'll let the German scientist hack my foot off, then him and his friends could have their way with me. ALL FOR THE FLYING CAR!!!

…

**Ron:** You'd do it with a bunch of guys just to get a car?

…

**Ron:** Thought I knew you, man.

And Ron took out Harry's king with his queen and walked out of the room to get some lunch. Harry, just shocked at the outcome of Ron's last two sentences, didn't even notice that he had lost his game of chess to Ron.

…

**Harry:** What the Fuck!?

If you would like to see the clip for yourself then go to:

http / www . youtube . com / watch ?v ap 1lMv0YcO8

**or**

http / www . youtube . com / watch ?v e BRHetKH4MQ – This one is the clip that I used. It is the Yami No Matsuei version, which is so much funny!!! I recommend my reviewers should check this one out.

P.S. Take off the spaces when typing in the site.


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